Affliction & Avarice
by melanie.deeee
Summary: Melanie is on a quest to deliver Middle Earth from a terrible illness that could tear it apart. In her travels she meets Aragorn and Legolas, and that's where her troubles really begin...
1. Chapter 1

It was a long and winding road from Philadelphia to Middle Earth. By the time I reached the rolling fields of Rohan, my steed was starting to get fatiged, it's breathing laboured. "Poor Moondancer," I said to my garreon, patting it's rump. "Just a little farther before we can rest. I promise." The truth was that I was feeling tired to, like a fever was coming over me. But I knew I couldn't balk. For in my rucksack was the cure to a deadly disease which was plaguing the land of Middle Earth. Some said it was the Ring Wraith's doing. Some even speculated that it was the Ghost of Sauron exacting revenge upon the people of Middle Earth. All I knew was that as a healer (and bad ass warrior), it was my duty to help all those effected by the disease. My name was:

**Melanie T'Starlight von Goldensdawn**

That night Moondancer and I rested beneath an oak tree, under an umbrella of stars. We were almost out of Lambas bread, so my dinner was scare. I thought of home.

Just then there was some movement in the shadows. I could hear some gutteral growling from not too far away. Moondancer began to panic. I drew my sword. "I know how to use this, bastards!" I screamed. Who could be out hear at this time of night? Certainly not anyone friendly. Besides, the low-pitched sounds they made were very sinister. Just then a goblin leapt out of the shadows. Moondancer winnied and bolted. "One Ring!" I cursed, getting ready to attack. The goblin lunged at me with a make shift blade, but I parried the attack and stabbed it in the eye. But more were coming. I hoped Moondancer was safe, wherever he was going. Two more goblins attacked at the same time. "Don't mess with me!" I yelled. I was holding them both off for now, and I felt wary. Then three others came at me. More goblins were lurking in the shadows. It looked as if some of the darkened figures was drawing bows...

But then from out of the darkness came a man wearing a crown. He was equipped with gleaming armour, with a tree carved on the breast-plate. He carried a long sword, which he drew quickly, as if he'd been weilding swords all his life. "Get behind me!" he told me. He was handsome dark haired and bearded, with blue-grey eyes. I did as he commanded. "MEN!" he bellowed. Just then a volley of arrows came down, slaying most of the goblins. With expert swordsman ship, the man finished off the rest.

When all was done, he turned to me and said "I'm glad you're alright, m'lady. It's dangerous to travel alone, you know. Many beasts roam these lands nowadays. And it's gotten worse since the disease has struck Middle Earth.  
I blushed. He really was cute. He really seemed etheral, in a rugged sort of way. "That's why I'm here," I said. I was traveling to the Council of Elrond to deliver this potion. It's a cure." I rummaged through my sack, presenting a vile of mysterious purple-gold liquid to him. My uncle is an apothecary.  
He examined the potion. "I hope you're right about the cure. Hundreds have already died. Maybe thousands. And there will be many more to come." He sighed. "It is not easy work being a king."  
A king? I couldn't believe what he was saying! Though he was certainly good looking enough to be royalty.  
He got on one knee. "Allow me to introduce myself, m'lady," he said ruggedly. "I am Aragorn, King of Gondor. He gestured around him, as 20 soldiers appread. "And these are my loyal men." He pointed at one of the men, who unlike the others was dressed in a brown cloak and had long blonde hair and pointed ears. He was an elf, I realized. This was to be the first time I'd lay eyes on such a being. He was hot, but differently than Aragorn. His face was smoother and his skin fairer than Aragon's. "And this is my friend Legolas, of Murkwood. We're in the middle of a royal visit to our allies in Rohan, and just now we were leading a mission to eliminate a tribe of goblins which was raiding the area. But it looks like we've done it, thanks to you."  
I curtsied. "I'm Melanie. Melanie T'Starlight von Goldensdawn."  
"A beautiful name for a beautiful lady," said Aragon charmingly. I blushed once again. "There's a castle nearby. Let's go there and tend to your wounds, shall we? And then we can see about this potion of yours."

We rode off toward the castle. I got to ride with Aragon, on top of his muscly brown stallion. I couldn't believe I was riding with a king! And a cute one at that. I felt some pain in my stomach and arms and legs, and noticed I'd been cut in a few places during the battle, but luckily none of the wounds felt so deep. Though I was still worried about Moondancer. Hopefully he would come back soon.  
Meanwhile Aragorn was talking to one of his men who rode beside him. "Captain Haldeir I want you and a team of your men to ride out to Rivendell on the morrow," he said. "The elves have better knowledge about medcine then we do, and Elrond will know what to do with Melanie's potion. Take it with you.  
"As you command, sire," said Haldeir.  
In the distance I saw the distant walls of a castle looming closer toward us. I suddenly felt very sleepy, like the day's events were catching up to me. I put my arms around Aragorn's waste and snuggled up to him comfortably, then closed my eyes and drifted off to sleep...


	2. Chapter 2

When I woke up I was still so tired from a headache but then it went away when I remembered what had happened. Before I was scared but then the king Aragon had rescued me and saved me from danger and we'd rode away. I was still so worried about Moonshine though. Where had she gone?

It was okay after a while though because when I woke up we were in a castle. I guessed that it was Rohan. That was where Aragorn had said they were going anyway. I woke up in a beautiful bed with white sheets and a silver blanket. It was made of wood and the whole room was basically made of wood too. I thought "Wow I've never been to Rohan…" And then I sat up in bed. It smelled like wood. I was about to get out of bed but the door made a creak. Someone was coming in!

I was hoping it would be Aragorn but instead it was his hot friend, the elf man. He waslked closer to the bed and then stood in front of it. He was wearing a green shirt that went down to his legs and brown pants. His hair shone even though it was kind of dark in the room because there were no windows. I wondered what kind of shampoo he used because his hair was almost as pretty as mine I think.

"You are awake" he says. "Yeah I woke up" I Replied, feeling kind of nervous because he was really cute. He smiles at me. "how are you feeling? You fell asleep so fast" he asks. I shrugged.

"I am fine. I wasn't sick. But lots of people in middle earth are so sick and I have the cure. Where is my bag?" I said. He frowns a little.

"it is outside I believe. I know Aragorn introduced me to you but I wanted to do it myself and say hello. So hello. You are very beautiful miss Goldenstark," he says. I blushed and I hoped he couldn't see that in the dark. It wasn't that dark though and I think he smiled at me blushing.

"Thank you Legolas but you can call me Lady Melani ok?" he nods. "Okay that is what I will call you. Do you want to come outside with me? The King of rohan is going to have dinner with us in the great hall of the Castle." I got out of the blanket and stood up.

"Yeah!" I was actually so hungry and I didn't realize it until that exact moment. Then we went outside into the great hall. There were already so many people in there, I couldn't even find Aragorn. Then Legolas says "Hey do you want to sit by me? I don't know anybody here." I nodded so then I followed him to a table where there was a bunch of food in huge platters The King of Rohan was sitting in a big throne in the front of the room. He stood up abruptly.

"Who is this with you, Sir Legolas?" he asked in a loud voice. I jumped and turned to look at him and stood up because he was standing and when the King stands you have to do that too. Legolas stood up and looked at him. "This is Lady Melanie T'Starlight von Goldenswan," he said. I bowed with a lot of respect. Rohan was a great place and I wanted to make sure the King new I was respecting him for having such an amazing land. The King's eyes widened.

"Lady Melanie! I have a suspicion about who you really are!" he said. Everyone in the room went completely silent. I was turning red and I took a step backward and ran into the table a little bit. I was really nervous. What was he saying? What did that mean?

"You are… the one who was missing!" he said. The one who was missing? What did that mean? "WHO are your parents, Lady Melanie?" he asked me again. I was really scared and when I answered him I was kind of quiet because I was so scared of what was going on. I really like Rohan. I hoped the King didn't hate me or something.

"My parents were bandits" I said really quietly. But it was a really big room so he could still hear me.

"The bandits! You were kidnapped from Rohan as a baby!" he said. I was kidnapped? No that couldn't be possible there was no way. "I can recognize you because….. You are my daughter!" Then I finally found Aragorn's eye across the room. He was looking completely shocked, but he was not as shocked as me. I was so surprised.

"What? No way," I said, completely surprised. "I am not your daughter!" The King looked realy surprised that I was even saying anything against him. I guess that is how it is when you're a king.

"I know it is the true. You have a birthmark on your shoulder that is shaped like a rabbit right?" I gasped. It was true. I did have a birthmark shaped like a little bunny. "So you are my real father…" I whispered, crying a little. It was really emotional to meet your real father. I ran up and gave him a big hug.

"My daughter… this means you are the true princess of gondor," he said when I was done hugging him. A princess? No way. I was a real princess. I was really excited to hear that and gasped and then tried not to smile too much because I had always wanted to be a princess. I was already a warrior so that meant now I was a warrior-princess. Then the King asked one of the servant people to fetch the box he kept safe in his room. He opened it. Inside was a beautiful silver crown, which he put on my head. I turned around and the everyone in the room was bowing to ME. It was really weird and I was so happy to finally find my real family. Just then there was a huge crash from the opposite side of the room. Someone had fallen out of one of the vents! I gasped and everyone turned around to look. There was a gremlin thing standing up and brushing himself off.

"I am dobby!" He screamed. "And I am from Mordor! I am here to steal the cure for the disease!" I ran to try and catch him before he could do that, completely shocked. But I was too late. My bag was right next to him and he lunged for it and then disappeared back up the vent.

I was totally surprised and really sad. Aragorn ran up to me and tried to make me feel better. I saw that Legolas was giving him a mean look but I didn't think about it because I was so worried and Aragorn was giving me a hug and he was so warm and that made me feel a little bit better. But now we had to get the cure back!


	3. Chapter 3

The room errupted in chaos. The king had to smash his hammer onto the desk like he was a judge just to shut everyone up. "SILENCE!" he bellowed. "We must not give into wanton hate for our enemy. We must be wise in the way we react to deviousness. We will reprieve the potion, make no mistake." he said.

"I will find it for you, and prize it from dobby's cold dead hands if I must," surmised Aragorn angstily. He was still standing close to me, and I could feel his valiance radiating off of him like an oven of bravery.

Then Legolas steps up. "I will go too!" he says. "And follow him to Mordor if need's be!"

Another woman whom I didn't know stood up too. "Make that three of us! We must get back the potion."

The king gave the woman a wary look. "Be careful in your quest, Eowyn. You are like a daughter to me. I would loath it for something to happen to you as well."

That's when I coughed nervously, clearing my throat. "I will acompany them too." I said.

The king has a started look on his face. "Daughter mine, you have only just returned to me! You must be kept safe for the time being. I cannot lose you again, I cannot bear the thought of such.

I felt all the eyes in the room being fixed upon me. "If I really am the princess of this land of rohan I must needs prove myself to my people." Aragorn sweetly squeezed my hand to comfort me, and gave me a resuring wink. That made me smile inside. I continued: "I am not only a healer but a good swordswoman and a keen hunter. I will help Aragorn find this retch Dobby, even if it measn climbing Mount Doom it'self!" The room burst into a round of applause. The king conceded.

"Very well my daughter, you shall aid Aragorn, Legolas, and Eowyn in recovering the vile of potion. But if anything happens to my daughter I'm holding the three of you responsible!"

"Don't worry my friend" said Aragorn "I will protect your daughter with my own life."

"And me too!" Legolas chims in.

So it was settled. The king let me borrow a mare from the stables to be my steed while Moon dancer was absent. It was a tough looking white horse, who I decided to dub Starlight Wonderer. And then we were off, as soon as we had arrived. We headed east in the direction of Mordor, although we all hoped that we would catch the nerfarious Dobby long before reaching it. Even with the dark lord defeated morder was still not a safe place to go. Orcs, goblins and trolls still roamed the land, and there was even troubling talk amongst the people that a new King of the Orcs had arisen. I certainly hoped we would locate the potion soon,; the sick people of Middle Earth was counting on us.

Sure enough on the second day of our expedition we came across some hills and Aragorn said "Legolas, what do your elf eyes see" and Legolas responds "Tracks. It may be belong to Dobby himself. So we rode to follow the tracks, which lead us further east to the opening of a large forest. That was when we decided to rest for the night. We put up a tent. Aragon asked me if I would help him look for fire-wood whilst Legolas went hunting and Eowyn minded the camp. So I said "sure", trying to oppress a nervous giggle.

The forest was vast and full of tall trees but we did not want to venture too far tonight; we were simply looking for firewood. "So tell me about yourself, Princess Melanie" ventured Aragorn. I didn't know where to begin! He probably lead a totally interesting life, and mine would shorely seem drab by comparison.

"I was raised by the people who I thought were my parents, but it turns out they were bandits all along," I sulked wistfully. "We lived in Philly but they died in a sking accident a few years ago. So then I went to live with my uncle who brews potions for a living. He lets me deliver potions sometimes so I've been on lot's of adventures and build up my warrior skills over time." I hoped I wasn't boring him or anything. "Sooo how about you?" I asked.

He thought for a moment "well my father was killed by orcs when I was a boy. Later I came to wander the land, and people would call me Strider, unaware that the blood of kings flow through my vains. Then the war of the ring occurred, and I helped the Hobbits deliver the One Ring to the fires of mount Doom. ASnd meanwhile I took my right full place as king of gondor and then married my wife Arwen."

HIS WIFE? I thought I was going to be sick. I was thinking that me (as a princess) would be the perfect match to marry king Aragorn, but now I was finding out that he was married already? "Life is not fair" I fumed internally. I just knew I'd be one hundred times the wife for him than this Arwin woman could ever be, but now Aragorn wouldn't even give me the time of day!

We picked up the rest of the kindling in akward silence whilst I tried to fight back the tears. Then we returned to the camp and with Eowyn's help we light a cracking fire. Shortly thereafter Legolas returns with two rabbits that he caught. He made stew. Whilst we were eating I could tell that Eowyn was stareing At Aragorn wistfully, too! Later Aragorn was fast asleep and Legolas is praying to his elvish tree gods, and it was just me and Eowyn talking under the vast starry night sky. "You know he's already married, right?" I said spitefully.

"I know" said Eowyn. "I've had a crush on him since the war but he only sees me as a friend..." she slightly changed the topic. "Hey do you have a boyfriend?"

"No" I responded. The truth was that nobody had caught my eye like Aragon did. I had plenty of admirers back home and in ROhan already but none of them was quite up to par with aragorn's rapturous smile and mysterious eyes. He was truly a men made angel as well as a king. "How about you"

She hesitated "I've been seeing this guy Faramir..." "But it's nothing serious. We only started dating cos he looked kind of like Aragorn if you squint and the lights are low." She sighed rupturiously. Then she got upset. "I'm hitting the hey." She said and went to sleep.

I was all along with my thoughts...of Aragorn, the way his muscles flexed and the way he hugged me earlier. I can't wait to tell his bitchy wife about that later, I schemed. Suddenly Legoland comes up to me "Hi princess" he says. "hi Legolass"

"I couldn't help see you sad earlier, like you were about to burst in to tears" he says. Very perceptive, I noticed, pleasantly surprised. It must have been his elf eyes.

"I'm just not quite myself lately" I replied hastily.

"You're very beautiful, Malanie" responds Legolas, inching closer towards me. "We elves have a word for fair maidens like you –_Faltherin_." The word rolls off the tongue like honey. I blushed for not the first time that day. "Sweet Melanie, _Faltherin_ I'll write a song about your pale blue eyes. It will be an epic sonnet. He lean in and kisses me on the cheek. Even though I was still in love with Aragorn I couldn't help but swoon at Legolas now too. He was sooo cute. Just not as cute as Aragon. "Come by my tent later, if you like" he says with a wink, then gets up and walks away. I blushed again, majorly.

Now I was left all alone with my thoughts all over again...


	4. Legolas

Legola is gone. I was all alone. Now I had to make a decision… should I go to his tent? Or should should I stay here where I was safe and totally not making out with legola/? No, he'd totally like invited me. I had to go and see what he wanted.

Melanie blushed a deep red when she realized that maybe Legolas wants… _sex. _What if I ended up having _sex_ with him? No no no I'd only met him yesterday – that was way too soon to have _sex_. So I decided ok, I won't have _sex_ with him. But I would go and see what he wanted.

His tent was not too far from the castle so I walked alone and wondered where Moonlight had gone. I still missed my royal steed. Now that I was a princess he was a _royal_ steed haha like instead of _loyal_! I chortled daintily as I made my way to the tent, which was shaped like a cottage but made up of yellow latex. I walked inside and was totally surprised to find that iw as actually was super comfortable! Even though everything was the same balloon latex stuff.

Legolas lets me in and smiled with a big smile. He was obviously happy to see me, since he was smiling. I bet he was totally expecting me because tbh he answered the door after one second. Then I walked inside the latex house and sat down on a yellow couch.

"I'm really so happy to see you," says the elf with glistening golden hair. I blushed again. He was so sweet. I loved that he was happy to see me. It was so obvious, since he smiled and stuff.

Then, he did something totally unexpected. He reached into a yellow closet and pulled out a Les Paul guitar in sunburst. My heart did a flip. Then, he sat down on a latex chair in front of the couch and he started to sing to me in the sweetest voice I had ever heard in my entire life for as long as I could remember.

_Booty call_

_You could be my booty call_

_You could be my booty call_

_Now drop those panties to the floor_

I was stunned. The song was more gorgeous than any I had heard before. He immediately takes my breath away, My hand floated to my chest as I tried to keep my heat from beating so wildly. How did he know? BROKENcyde was my favorite band. I listened to them on my ipod classic all the time when I was wriding Moonsailor.

Then he stopped singing and put the guitar back in the yellow closet and got down on one yellow knee . He pulled out a diamond ring with some leaves on it and held it out in front of me. "Mari, will you be my gf?" he asked solemnly. I thought my heart was totally about to explode or something. He was asking ME to be his gif? No way. I knew that Legola had a crush on me but I hadn't realized he was already so in love with me that he would ask me to date him. Well I guess he was worried about Eragon getting to me first, especially because of the way that Aragorn looked at me when I found out I was the princess and when Dobby stole my suitcase with the cure for the disease innit. Then I had to answer legolas. How was I supposed to say? I knew that I really loved Aragorn. This was a really really really tough decision, so I stared him in the eyes and I said, "Legolas, I love you. We should totally date and I will totes be your girlfriend okay? But you have to be my boyfriend too"

He said yes and we hugged. Then I thought about Aragorn nbut I knew I shouldn't think about him too much so I stopped. Then Legolas was like hey do you want to see my goldfish? I said yes and we looked at his goldfish named Vampire.

Then I was about to go back to the castle to be in my room when all of a sudden someone burst in through the door of the yellow room! Oh no! I gasped. Legolas also gasped. We were both really surprised and taken aback. There was a man there with long white hair and a long swrod and I was so scared. But since I'm a badass warrior chick princess, I actually wasn't scared. Then all of a sudden he introduced himself with his name.

"I am Lord sephiroth of the Kingdom of Genovia. Prepare to die, scum" he said. Then I went in front of Legolas and screamed.

"We our not afraid of you, Sesshomaru!" he frowned at us and then left. "Phew!" I said, reliefed. Legolas hugged me tight. He was so warm and I was happy.

Then the next morning we met Aragorn for breakfast of eggs in the great hall of the castle in Rohan in Middle Earth. Aragorn looked at us.

"Oh I see you have met! Let me introduce you," he smoldered. I was surprised. "That is my friend Legolas, of Mirkwood. He is an elf. I am so glad you two are friends now," he said, scooching over so I could sit by him. I sat by him and Legolas sat on my other side. We were so cute together.

Then after breakfast we went to the carnival. There was a hot air balloon and a ferris wheel. Me and legolas were holding hands and I could see that Aragorn was pretty upset by that but he married that stupid elf girl Arwin anyway, so what was I supposed to do? I just smiled at him because I didn't want to hurt his feelings, but I made sure my smile was kind of sad and cold just in case he didn't understand that I was in love with him but I was dating Legola instead of him since he was married.


	5. Chapter 5

**[AN: Thing's get frisky. DO NOT READ ON IF YOU ARE OF A SQUAMISH OR PRUDISH DISPOSITION. It's rated T for Teen for a REASON. Also, reviews and comments are very much apreciated. My friends all love A&A so far, but I want to hear YOUR feedback to!] **

There was a fairies wheel at the carnival, that which reached up to the cotton candy clouds in the pink blancket sky. The magnificant egg yolk sun was setting behind the mist-obscured felt mountains in the distance.

"Wanna?" inquires Leg o' Lass, as if reading mine mind. Mayhaps he was; so well versed in the womanly pleasures was his gentle yet commanding elfin touch...

"Yes, very much so," I reply sacchininely. "legless?"

"Yes babe?" he replies with his honeyed tongue as we made our way to the fairies wheel.

"I...I ily you. I ily you sooo much. I just wanted you to know."

"I ily yout to Melanie my love," Legolas responds. Then he kisses me on the leafy diamond ring he has just given me (which matched my gleming angelic eyes sooo well), then on each check sweetly, then finally frenching me on the mouth with passion.

So why was I still thinking of Aragorn?

A while later we got on the ffairy's wheel and ascended to the sky. Below us lay the kingdom of Rohan in all it's majesty. The fields and castles below were painted in the goldish glow of evening. As we rode we told each other about our lives. Legolass used to be a guard at Murk Wood, when he let the Hobbit and Dwarfs excscape in barrels. His father fired him for that. But as a prince he could easily attain a new job as an adventure. Like hunky King Aragorn, Legolas was also there at the Battle of the Black gate on that fate full day on which the Ring had been destroyed. But whenever he mentions Aragon, Legolasses voice seems to be flavored with a subtle bitterness, which I thought was passing queer, but I choose not too bring it up. I didn't want to spoil our date, after all. Then we were at the top. At that moment I sware we were infinity. The whole world was being our oyster as well. Then some fire-works went off in the sky, in the shape of green dragons making out. I took that as our queue.

We made out as well.

Much later we stumbled back into Lelagas' tent. We had been drinking jagger bombs and smoking weed reefers. I felt dizzy yet euphorick. So does Legolas. "Melanie!" he proclaims rapturiously, "I want to move inside you like a plow. I want to take your virgimity!"

"Me too my love!" I said, over come with exstacy. I couldn't believe it. I, Melanie T'Starlight von Goldensdawn, was finally about to have _s e x_!

Sooo then we laid down on Legolas bed, which was framed in the Elfin mythhril murkwood wood. The blankets and pillows were stuffed with the feathers of giant eagles. Legolas caresses my gently, lying me down on the bed. He looks at me intensely. I nodded with equal intenseness. Then he begins to unrap my black goffik bodice, which I bought from Hot Topic many moons ago, as if unwrapping a present. I suppose my maidenhood was a present afterall: it was highly valued and sought after throughput every land I visited. Then I sensually undid his breeches. We were now in nothing but our undergarments. We dissolved into each other, like melting into one pure form of sweat and passion and pleasure. It felt soooo good. We dry humped for a fashion, panting like a small pack of exhausted wolves pursuing elusive prey. Then, when we could not handle the tension anymore, it was time too take of our underwear! Using my teeth as if they were razor sharp wolf fangs, I tore off his underpants to reveal his hidden treasure. Legolas manhood is over a foot long, and slightly pointed at the tip. Beneath his glorious shlong is a tuft of hair, thick and smoothe like a wolf's pelt. I put Legolas's pink gladiolus in my mouth, savoring the sweet bodily fluids. He grins chekily while removing my Sailor Moon panties, revealing the fleshy pink magnolia underneath. I was naked to Legolas physically, mentally, emotionally, spiritually and now sexually. He slowly creeps on top of my body like I was a tamed wolf and he is a wolfrider, and his pulsating magician's staff crepts closer and closer to my whisperimg eye... And then all of a sudden, Legolas is inside of me! It felt sooo good! And I was no longer a virgin! Yay!

Legolas moves inside of me. His thing feels soooo good in my private realm. We start out slow and gentle, but Legola eventually starts to pick up the pace. The feeling inside me was growing intense, like an upward spiral of sheer primale emotion. It was the most intense experience I had ever experienced. I griped my claws deep into the flesh of his pale back as he rides me methodically, like a machine. He seems to enjoy the pain, flashing me charming winks between thrusts. I could barely contain the sheer pleasure creaping all over me. I could hear him grunting from the exertion inertia. I was grunting too. The feeling was getting stronger and stronger, the thrusts harder and deeper until…. OMG! ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) **I was about to climax! **( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) I summoned all my willpower to delay the explosion of extacy that was about to occur, and I could tell so too was Legoass. But then…we just couldn't take it any more! Legolas and I both erupted in deep primal howling, like wolves crying underneath a huge yellow moon in the late spring. At last Legolas and I were one, wolves of the same pack.

After the sex we stayed naked in bed all night long. Legolas takes out a pipe and we shared it together, taking turns blowing smoke wolves into air. Then we had a deep discussipn about philosophy, like determinism. We determined that it was a load of nonsense, lmao. We eventually fell asleep in each others arm's, as one flesh. It was the most awesome night of my entire life.

The next morning we left the tent, our faces gleaming from last night's sensual experience. Aragon was standing over the fire place, frying some eggs. He was wearing a "Kiss the King" apron, and winked at us knowingly as we approached. I smiled at him. He smiled bak. _I may be going steady with Legolas now,_ I considered thoughtfully, _but Aragon could still make a good side guy when my feelings for Legolas inevitably start to wane._ It was a comforting thought. Eowyn was sitting there by the fireplace too, but she seemed a bit frazzled and out of it.  
"Have a nice evening"? Aragon inquired, offering us sum food.  
"You could say that, yeah, hehe. ;)" replies Legolas. "And you?"  
"Nice…uh, yeah, it was nice…" said Aragon shakily, shooting an awkward glance at Eowyn. "Listen, Bullet for My Bloody Valentine are in town this weekend, and I've got f4ur tickets. You guys wanna com?"

_OMG! B4MBV are in my top 10 last fm scrobbles!_  
"Hell yeah!" I whoop whooped excitedly, and we all laughted.

Besides, it wasn't like we had anything important to do in the not to distant future… Right?


	6. Chapter 6

Friday night.  
6pm.  
We were all in our tents, getting dressed for the Bullet for My Bloody Valentine concert that night. I had donned a black dress with black leggings and black shoes and black everything else. Eowyn was dressed in white, the poser. "What year is it?" I asked sardonically as I examined her unfortunate choice of getup. "1986?"  
"It's, like, 4E-something," she replied sullenly.  
"Are we going to a wedding, Eowyn, or a freaking GOFFGAZE concert?"  
"Goffgaze," she mumbled, staring at her tacky shoes.  
"Then friffing dress like it, BIATCH," I said, my voice rich with voluptuousness. Ever since Legolas and I had 'done the deed' (by which I mean had _S E X_), I had been in a very frisky mood. I wondered if Eowyn was still a virgin. _God, probably,_ I thought. _She goes around in armour wielding swords; who's going to want to get with that piece of work?_  
I applied my mascara, eyeliner and lip gloss with practiced ferocity. I looked stunning, like a regular femme fatale, or maybe more of a Bella Swan. I knew Legolas won't be able to keep his eyes off of me the whole night. And neither would Aragorn. Leaving the tent, an impious smile crossed my face.

Legolas and Aragorn were already ready, standing outside the carriage that would take us to our destination. I clung onto Legolas's arm tightly. His silky smooth Elven skin feels _sooooo_ good when it touches mine. Aragorn was listening to his iPod Classic. _What a refined, old-fashioned gentlemen,_ I couldn't help but gush to myself. _He doesn't just play MP3s on his phone like an unwashed Neanderthal, but still uses separate devices for different purposes. _I shot him a wink.  
"Babe, you look like the slender silhouette of an ethereal faun sprite, basking in the pale moonlight," Legolas croons, and my attention returned once more to my Elvin bae.  
"Thanks, babe," I purred. "Your Lothlórien cloak is almost as soft as your tender moonshine lips."  
We kissed passionately. Like wolves.

A few minutes later, Eowyn emerged from the tent, looking as dishevelled as ever. I almost felt pity for her. I suppose some people just aren't meant to get dressed up and go out.

And then, we were off to the concert.

The journey to the concert was uneventful, and mainly involved Legolas and I making out fervently.

Finally, we were there! Rohan's Pepsi™ Stadium (Proud home of the Rohan Direwolves®) was in full view, a colossal coliseum for a less bloodthirsty era. Tonight's circus would be a Goffgaze concert performed by none other than legendary Goffgaze pioneers Bullet for My Bloody Valentine. The bread would be the soulful hymns, heavy metal rockers and tremolo-laden experimental freakouts that sprang from the glorious mouth and nimble fingers of B4MBV lead singer/guitarist Tuck "Tucker" Shields. Who, by the way, is a total hottie. Not as hot as Aragorn or even Legolas, but I'd do him. As we made our way to the mosh pit, I silently prayed that there would be an after-party so my dream of getting with a guy in a band would be realised.

We found a nice spot near the barrier, next to a rowdy group consisting of a wild-haired young lad wearing a snapback, a bearded middle-aged gentleman dressed in leather armour, and a rather short fellow with blond hair, facial scarring and sophisticated medieval garb. I walked up to Ser Snapback, with swagger in my step.  
"Do you guys like the new ' v' album or are you more into their early demos and stuff?" I asked flirtily.  
"Oh, we're mainly here for the opening band," he responded, in a sulky English accent. I could have swooned. _What a patrician.  
_Then the opening band came on to the stage. It was an all-female group. The lead singer had silvery hair, purple eyes and tanned skin. She was adorned in a fine dress woven from Myrish silk or whatever.  
Ser Snapback pointed at her. "That's my girlfriend." He blew her a kiss.  
She spotted him in the crowd, and returned the gesture.  
Then she spoke into the microphone, which screeched obnoxiously. "I am Daenerys Stormborn of House Targaryen. We are the Breakers of Chains. We are here to smash the shackles of this oppressive patriarchal society. One, two, three, four!"

Then they launched into a hard-hitting punk-rock jam with a decidedly Riot Grrrl attitude. While I found the lyrics a tad preachy (though I do admire the feminist sentiment), they were, musically at least, a pretty tight group. Think a slightly heavier Sleater-Kinney fronted by PJ Harvey, and you might come close to describing their visceral, balls-to-the-wall (no irony intended) fem-punk sound.  
"Your girlfriend is cute," I whispered sensually in Snapback's ear. "I'm cuter, though," I added with a teasing giggle. "And free tonight..."  
He grinned confidently. "I'm Jon Snow," he said.  
"Melanie," I replied. "Melanie T'Starlight von Goldensdawn." Then I walked off to rejoin Legolas, who is bobbing his head to the music as if listening to smooth jazz. What a hipster. I couldn't help but like him, though. Like, _like _like him, that is. We slow danced throughout the rest of Breaker of Chains' half-hour set. 


End file.
